....laying chained to the basement floor as all six of the men took turns raping her. At this point she starts fo shake from the pain of the memories. She began to tell me what was going through her mind, "Once the first man began the pain was unbarable I began to claw at the floor nearly ripping off one of my fingernails. After a few minutes I was numb, I stared at a water stain on the cealling my tears seemed to meet with the drop of water from the leak." My hand on her knee, you don't have to do this she looked up at me and said "Oh but I do". She said after a few hours they tied a rope around her wrist throwing it over a banister in the basement and pulled until she stood. They positioned her to where one of the men laid beneath her once ready they pushed her down ontop of him. As she cried out in pain they hit her across the back and stomach with a bealt to silence her, and begN to laugh at her anguish as the forced her to ride these men. Her head hanging in pain, exaughstion, and shame they took pictures of her beaten and naked body. She now sit in the dark as if used and thrown away, she was releaved that they were leaving her alone. A few moments passed before she heard the door, one of them men turned on the light she seen his feet standing before her, he asked in a faceious tone "Are you hungry?" He then poured water over her saying she stunk and was filthy and disgusting, then threw lettus on the ground n front of her. She sit holding back the tears welling up in her eyes as a ping of anger hit n her stomach. Approximately an hour before her mothers return all six men came back down to the basement with wet towels and belts and beat her ensuring she wouldn't say any thing. They through her clothes at her telling her that her mother was waiting for her, fear began to buil in her stomach, "what will she think of me? What will she say about the bruises and scrapes?" When she seen her mother she smile as though nothing had just happened, her mother grabbed the back of her neck squeezed it letting her know that she already knew of the events that took place in her absents. Walking back to the car her mother asked her if she had fun and if she had learned anything. My friend now sat with he knees drawn up to her chest crying, I wrapped my arms around her and cried with her......

Hard day. been thinking about dad, miss him so much. Had a long conversation with my aunt and it was rough. however life goes on.

life is so compicated this come and things go. I today have been stresses beyond belief. there way too much going on around me its impsible for anything to get done. don't anyone talk thus my outlet. just wish that could be different a change. expect

....She looked up at me, eyes full of pain and said in a choaked voice "where do I start?" I replied, where ever is easiest. Taking in a rigid breath, she said that she was concived and carried under the influence of alcohol and Crystal Meth. She told me she was scolded and hated from a young age. She even told me of a time when whe was two years old, her mother left her alone in a shed in the middle of a forest for seven days. The only way she survived was through a hole in the back of the shed, and there was a strem close by. A week later her mom took her back close to that location, again two years old, beat her and threw her against a tree and then into a river. She learned how to swim that day. Then she went into when she was three and I wasn't sure I could handle much more. When she was only three, her mother took her to a house, telling her she was going to play, and dropped her off in a house full of six men for over twelve hours. Those men torchered her. They chained her to the basement floor, stripped her of her clothes took belts and beat her. The more she cired or tried to get away the worse it got. When she was finally calm all but one man left and he kissed her from head to toe, took pictures, and began to talk to her in a soft tone. They told her to never speak of anything that was about to happen, and to pay attenchen because this would be how she would spend her life....

Wow, how life can throw you curves. Days so happy and days so sad, but making it to the next step is the only thing ever focused deeply for long periods of time. My thoughts have been scathing my heart deeply lately, and I've had no outlet and so I would look and look for anything I possibly could,finding nothing but my words. I've been thinking about a little girl that I grew up with, she is my age, I just found her agian after years of endless wondering. It breaks my heart to hear what she has gone thruough, and what I couldn't see. She lives in Texas with people she doesn't know very well, she's in foster care, and she's making it the way she always has, yet she is still paying a price. Sometimes life just seems to continue on around her as she sits still. Catching up for her is the funest part. I sit back and watch her sometimes so lost in thought, one day she look upset so I asked what was on her mind. She told me if you only knew where I've been or what I've seen. Worried I moved closer as she continued. I've been raped, I've been beat, I've been alone. Tears were welling up in her eyes, head hanging down, I wait for her to continue....

I live in a Placement in a big town. Life here at times can be rough, depending on who all is in the placement. I'm one of six right now and I'm the outcast because I chose to be different and not follow everything they do, is that right no, do I care? not really because thats there choice. The good in the placement is the staff, they are really good people who do there best to get you on your feet and where you need to be. They teach you to learn from your mistakes and to stick things out, rather than finding ways to hide or runaway. Things I've always tried to teach other people. Is it hard? yes no one said it would be easy, plus I'm learning